Wednesday, July 13, 2005
HUGE MISTAKE YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING RIGHT NOW
WHEN YOU APPROACH WOMEN
Let me ask you something...
When you approach or start talking to a woman that you're "interested" in, what is your attitude toward her? How do you treat her? What are you
THINKING ABOUT?
Do you start the interaction by trying to figure out if she's single?
Do you assume that she probably has a boyfriend and look for hints that she doesn't?
Do you try to pretend like you're not interested in her "in that way" and instead try to be casual about it until you get signals from her?
Do you even THINK about your strategy for how to talk to a woman at all?
MOST GUYS ARE UNAWARE OF WHAT THEY'RE DOING
Most of us guys are running around doing things that we're not even AWARE OF. Or if we are aware of what we're DOING, we're NOT aware of what OTHER people (particularly women) think of our behaviors.
Also, most of us guys allow others to control MOST or even All of how we act. Now, we won't ADMIT that we try to do or say whatever we think will please a woman, and we won't ADMIT that we're even mentally anticipating what she's going to think and acting on it... but it's happening.
And it's happening ALL THE TIME.
In fact, if most of us could just get a realistic look at how much we're trying to read women's minds and act in a way that pleases women,
we'd BITCH-SLAP ourselves silly and we'd mentally yell to ourselves "HEY, WAKE UP!".
Think about the following scenario:
You're out at a bar, and you start talking to an attractive young woman while trying to order a drink. And let's even say that she starts the conversation by commenting on how busy it is and how many people are in line for a drink.
You're thinking to yourself "I wonder if she has a boyfriend... I wonder if she's here wit someone... I wonder how old she is and if she'd like a guy my age... I wonder if I should buy her a drink so she'll feel obligated to talk to me and I can keep her attention... I wonder if I should just wait and talk to her later..."
Then, you remember that you've been reading my newsletters and my eBook... and learning from my Advanced Dating Techniques Series... and you decide to use some of your new techniques.
So you say "Hey, do me a favor. I'll let you go in front of me if you order my drink for me. All
the bar tenders are guys, and they'll give you more attention than they'll give me, OK? I don't usually use women just for their bodies this early on in the relationship, but in this case I'm going
to make an exception".
She laughs.
You think you're on a roll.
You then say "But I'm not going to let you pay for it, OK? I don't want you thinking that I'm easy and that I'll give you my number or come home with you just because you paid for my drink".
At this point, she turns around and gives you the "You're a loser" look, and walks away.
Now let's think for a moment about what could be going on here...
She might be married. -She might be in a bad mood. -She might be a lesbian (not all that bad, actually). -She might be offended. -She might be emotionally unstable. -She might have misheard
what you said. -She might have gotten nervous. - She might have thought you were ugly.
...or the possibility exists that the technique
you used might have been horrible. But what do MOST guys typically do in a situation like this one? Most guys typically let their emotions take
over, and they think "Well that stuff doesn't work", and they STOP even trying Cocky & Funny humor.
WHAT A MISTAKE THIS IS!
A lot of guys will even try something and have it WORK for them, then have it NOT WORK just ONCE and quit using it because they stop believing in it.
This is a HORRIBLE mistake. Let me try to say this all a different way...Out of a random sample of 100 beautiful women, you'd probably find that only 20 of them (or so)are:-Single -Emotionally Stable -Able to carry on an interesting conversation -Not stuck up -Not psycho
This is just an estimate from my own personal experience, but I think you get the point. Now, here's the important part of this concept...
Let's say that you started talking to all of these 100 women, one after the other, and you had to use the same basic attitude and opening with
each of them.
What would you do?If you treated all of them like they were probably NOT single, interesting, stable, etc.(which is the case), then you'd probably scare off the single ones who were your targets, because they'd think you were acting strange.
For instance, let's say you started a conversation with a very attractive woman in her mid twenties, who was open-minded, funny, and
wasn't concerned with how old the men she dated were (there are a lot of women out there like this... I know this for a fact). But let's say that you were "playing it cool", not sayinganything that might offend or appear "too forward", and generally treating her like she was
probably married or had a boyfriend. You'd
probably be trying to figure out if she was single, not really paying attention to what you were saying, and you might finish up by saying
"So, can I take you out to dinner sometime?"
And what is this hot, smart, desirable woman thinking while you're acting like a dork? Right...she's thinking that you're a dork. Duh.
Now, let's take the flip side. Stay with me here.
Let's say that you treated ALL of the 100 attractive women like they were AVAILABLE, smart, interesting, etc.
What would happen?
Well, you'd probably start flirting with them all right from the beginning, or you'd communicate very quickly that you weren't just
Another friendly guy who wanted to talk about the weather.
And what would happen?
Well, as you can imagine, a lot of the women who were either unavailable or unable to have a normal conversation would "reject" you. They just wouldn't be interested. Their minds would be closed to the possibility of continuing the relationship with you, and they would end the conversation with you in one way or another.
Now, let's go TOTALLY out into space, and imagine that you were a LAB RAT, and that you had a bar that you could press. And let's say that 80%
of the time when you pressed it you got shocked,
and 20% of the time you got a treat.
How long would you keep pressing the bar? And keep in mind that this is a random system.
You can't line up all the shocks (or all the rejections from women, in the non-rat experiment that most men live in day-to-day).
You might get 7 shocks in a row at first. Or you might get 1 treat, then 5 shocks. Well, for most men, the THOUGHT of being "rejected" by a woman is worse than a shock for alab rat.
So what do we do? We don't even try .And we miss the opportunities with all of those wonderful, single, available women who are out looking for a man who has the balls to find them. So what's the solution?
The solution is to use a little technique called behaving AS IF she's single, available, and interesting. You must learn to overcome your initial self-
doubt and your doubts about a woman, and behave AS IF every woman you start talking to is SINGL and AS IF she's going to be THE ONE, MOST
INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL WOMAN EVER.
You must do the things that will attract THAT woman, and forget about the rest. And you must learn to NOT take the things that happen in between meeting the wonderful ones
PERSONALLY.
Gary Halbert, one of the top marketing geniuses in the world, talks about this principle. He basically says that out of 100 people
reading your ad or seeing your commercial, maybe ONE of them is someone who would buy your product anyway.
SO QUIT TALKING TO ALL OF THE 100 PEOPLE, AND ONLY TALK TO THE ONE!
In his words: "Don't worry about the DOGS, concentrate on selling the FOXES".
I like the metaphor. Talk to the women you meet AS IF they're
single, open, interesting, and wonderful. And don't worry about the ones that don't turn out to actually BE single, open, interesting, available ,and wonderful!
Use the things you're learning from me, and KEEP USING THEM... even if they don't work sometimes. There are all kinds of reasons why
women aren't interested... or stop being interested... or whatever.
That doesn't mean that you should stop doing what works!...which leads me to my next point. When you first start talking to a woman, your
BELIEFS about women and dating are CRITICAL. If you don't know how to use your BODY LANGUAGE and other communication to INSTANTLY show her that you’re a sexually aware, confident man, then you'll probably be overlooked and mentally discounted within SECONDS.
Of course, in order to PROJECT the correct beliefs that are attractive to women, you must KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, and UNDERSTAND THEM. In other words, you can't just "fake" them. You actually have to have a DEEP understanding of how women think, and what makes them feel a POWERFUL,
gut-level emotional ATTRACTION for a man.
It's taken me YEARS to figure out this criticalpoint.I used to try all kinds of techniques to meet women.
But when it came down to it, no matter how well the techniques worked, the women always seemed to slip away at one point or another, and lose their interest quickly.
This was because I didn't GET IT. So one of the things that I try to teach guys is how to GET IT, and how to show women that they
GET IT. But "getting it" isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't learn to be a Black Belt in a martial art by learning a few techniques. It takes a DEEPER, more profound understanding.
And you can't learn how to be super-successful with women by learning a few pick up lines. It just won't happen that way! After spending literally YEARS making mistakes, trying different things, and putting the pieces together, I've created a systematic way for men to
learn ALL of the various aspects of how to be successful with women and dating.
And I've created a few specific educational tools so you can learn this skill... right from the comfort of your own home. The most powerful tool is my Advanced Dating Techniques program. It's 12 full hours of digital CD Audio or DVD Video material, plus a detailed
Workbook.
I teach everything from the ground up. All the way from how and why women are attracted to some men, to the specific techniques to use and even interviews with five friends who are masters with women. You'll learn everything from how to overcome fears of approaching women to how to meet women on the internet... and much, much more.
You'll review this material SEVERAL times before you'll stop learning from it... and infect, you'll probably keep reviewing the material
FOREVER. If you'd like to listen to some audio sample sand see a sample clip of the video, just go here(this is also where you can order):
Kalmax@techemail.com
Another CRITICAL skill that you must master if you want to learn how to attract women is the skill of "Cocky Comedy". This is my single favorite "technique" for making women feel attracted to you, and I've spent the time and energy to put together and in-depth education program to teach you EXACTLY how to use it and create ATTRACTION with it.
Go here right now to watch some great sample video clips from this program...
Jude
WHEN YOU APPROACH WOMEN
Let me ask you something...
When you approach or start talking to a woman that you're "interested" in, what is your attitude toward her? How do you treat her? What are you
THINKING ABOUT?
Do you start the interaction by trying to figure out if she's single?
Do you assume that she probably has a boyfriend and look for hints that she doesn't?
Do you try to pretend like you're not interested in her "in that way" and instead try to be casual about it until you get signals from her?
Do you even THINK about your strategy for how to talk to a woman at all?
MOST GUYS ARE UNAWARE OF WHAT THEY'RE DOING
Most of us guys are running around doing things that we're not even AWARE OF. Or if we are aware of what we're DOING, we're NOT aware of what OTHER people (particularly women) think of our behaviors.
Also, most of us guys allow others to control MOST or even All of how we act. Now, we won't ADMIT that we try to do or say whatever we think will please a woman, and we won't ADMIT that we're even mentally anticipating what she's going to think and acting on it... but it's happening.
And it's happening ALL THE TIME.
In fact, if most of us could just get a realistic look at how much we're trying to read women's minds and act in a way that pleases women,
we'd BITCH-SLAP ourselves silly and we'd mentally yell to ourselves "HEY, WAKE UP!".
Think about the following scenario:
You're out at a bar, and you start talking to an attractive young woman while trying to order a drink. And let's even say that she starts the conversation by commenting on how busy it is and how many people are in line for a drink.
You're thinking to yourself "I wonder if she has a boyfriend... I wonder if she's here wit someone... I wonder how old she is and if she'd like a guy my age... I wonder if I should buy her a drink so she'll feel obligated to talk to me and I can keep her attention... I wonder if I should just wait and talk to her later..."
Then, you remember that you've been reading my newsletters and my eBook... and learning from my Advanced Dating Techniques Series... and you decide to use some of your new techniques.
So you say "Hey, do me a favor. I'll let you go in front of me if you order my drink for me. All
the bar tenders are guys, and they'll give you more attention than they'll give me, OK? I don't usually use women just for their bodies this early on in the relationship, but in this case I'm going
to make an exception".
She laughs.
You think you're on a roll.
You then say "But I'm not going to let you pay for it, OK? I don't want you thinking that I'm easy and that I'll give you my number or come home with you just because you paid for my drink".
At this point, she turns around and gives you the "You're a loser" look, and walks away.
Now let's think for a moment about what could be going on here...
She might be married. -She might be in a bad mood. -She might be a lesbian (not all that bad, actually). -She might be offended. -She might be emotionally unstable. -She might have misheard
what you said. -She might have gotten nervous. - She might have thought you were ugly.
...or the possibility exists that the technique
you used might have been horrible. But what do MOST guys typically do in a situation like this one? Most guys typically let their emotions take
over, and they think "Well that stuff doesn't work", and they STOP even trying Cocky & Funny humor.
WHAT A MISTAKE THIS IS!
A lot of guys will even try something and have it WORK for them, then have it NOT WORK just ONCE and quit using it because they stop believing in it.
This is a HORRIBLE mistake. Let me try to say this all a different way...Out of a random sample of 100 beautiful women, you'd probably find that only 20 of them (or so)are:-Single -Emotionally Stable -Able to carry on an interesting conversation -Not stuck up -Not psycho
This is just an estimate from my own personal experience, but I think you get the point. Now, here's the important part of this concept...
Let's say that you started talking to all of these 100 women, one after the other, and you had to use the same basic attitude and opening with
each of them.
What would you do?If you treated all of them like they were probably NOT single, interesting, stable, etc.(which is the case), then you'd probably scare off the single ones who were your targets, because they'd think you were acting strange.
For instance, let's say you started a conversation with a very attractive woman in her mid twenties, who was open-minded, funny, and
wasn't concerned with how old the men she dated were (there are a lot of women out there like this... I know this for a fact). But let's say that you were "playing it cool", not sayinganything that might offend or appear "too forward", and generally treating her like she was
probably married or had a boyfriend. You'd
probably be trying to figure out if she was single, not really paying attention to what you were saying, and you might finish up by saying
"So, can I take you out to dinner sometime?"
And what is this hot, smart, desirable woman thinking while you're acting like a dork? Right...she's thinking that you're a dork. Duh.
Now, let's take the flip side. Stay with me here.
Let's say that you treated ALL of the 100 attractive women like they were AVAILABLE, smart, interesting, etc.
What would happen?
Well, you'd probably start flirting with them all right from the beginning, or you'd communicate very quickly that you weren't just
Another friendly guy who wanted to talk about the weather.
And what would happen?
Well, as you can imagine, a lot of the women who were either unavailable or unable to have a normal conversation would "reject" you. They just wouldn't be interested. Their minds would be closed to the possibility of continuing the relationship with you, and they would end the conversation with you in one way or another.
Now, let's go TOTALLY out into space, and imagine that you were a LAB RAT, and that you had a bar that you could press. And let's say that 80%
of the time when you pressed it you got shocked,
and 20% of the time you got a treat.
How long would you keep pressing the bar? And keep in mind that this is a random system.
You can't line up all the shocks (or all the rejections from women, in the non-rat experiment that most men live in day-to-day).
You might get 7 shocks in a row at first. Or you might get 1 treat, then 5 shocks. Well, for most men, the THOUGHT of being "rejected" by a woman is worse than a shock for alab rat.
So what do we do? We don't even try .And we miss the opportunities with all of those wonderful, single, available women who are out looking for a man who has the balls to find them. So what's the solution?
The solution is to use a little technique called behaving AS IF she's single, available, and interesting. You must learn to overcome your initial self-
doubt and your doubts about a woman, and behave AS IF every woman you start talking to is SINGL and AS IF she's going to be THE ONE, MOST
INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL WOMAN EVER.
You must do the things that will attract THAT woman, and forget about the rest. And you must learn to NOT take the things that happen in between meeting the wonderful ones
PERSONALLY.
Gary Halbert, one of the top marketing geniuses in the world, talks about this principle. He basically says that out of 100 people
reading your ad or seeing your commercial, maybe ONE of them is someone who would buy your product anyway.
SO QUIT TALKING TO ALL OF THE 100 PEOPLE, AND ONLY TALK TO THE ONE!
In his words: "Don't worry about the DOGS, concentrate on selling the FOXES".
I like the metaphor. Talk to the women you meet AS IF they're
single, open, interesting, and wonderful. And don't worry about the ones that don't turn out to actually BE single, open, interesting, available ,and wonderful!
Use the things you're learning from me, and KEEP USING THEM... even if they don't work sometimes. There are all kinds of reasons why
women aren't interested... or stop being interested... or whatever.
That doesn't mean that you should stop doing what works!...which leads me to my next point. When you first start talking to a woman, your
BELIEFS about women and dating are CRITICAL. If you don't know how to use your BODY LANGUAGE and other communication to INSTANTLY show her that you’re a sexually aware, confident man, then you'll probably be overlooked and mentally discounted within SECONDS.
Of course, in order to PROJECT the correct beliefs that are attractive to women, you must KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, and UNDERSTAND THEM. In other words, you can't just "fake" them. You actually have to have a DEEP understanding of how women think, and what makes them feel a POWERFUL,
gut-level emotional ATTRACTION for a man.
It's taken me YEARS to figure out this criticalpoint.I used to try all kinds of techniques to meet women.
But when it came down to it, no matter how well the techniques worked, the women always seemed to slip away at one point or another, and lose their interest quickly.
This was because I didn't GET IT. So one of the things that I try to teach guys is how to GET IT, and how to show women that they
GET IT. But "getting it" isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't learn to be a Black Belt in a martial art by learning a few techniques. It takes a DEEPER, more profound understanding.
And you can't learn how to be super-successful with women by learning a few pick up lines. It just won't happen that way! After spending literally YEARS making mistakes, trying different things, and putting the pieces together, I've created a systematic way for men to
learn ALL of the various aspects of how to be successful with women and dating.
And I've created a few specific educational tools so you can learn this skill... right from the comfort of your own home. The most powerful tool is my Advanced Dating Techniques program. It's 12 full hours of digital CD Audio or DVD Video material, plus a detailed
Workbook.
I teach everything from the ground up. All the way from how and why women are attracted to some men, to the specific techniques to use and even interviews with five friends who are masters with women. You'll learn everything from how to overcome fears of approaching women to how to meet women on the internet... and much, much more.
You'll review this material SEVERAL times before you'll stop learning from it... and infect, you'll probably keep reviewing the material
FOREVER. If you'd like to listen to some audio sample sand see a sample clip of the video, just go here(this is also where you can order):
Kalmax@techemail.com
Another CRITICAL skill that you must master if you want to learn how to attract women is the skill of "Cocky Comedy". This is my single favorite "technique" for making women feel attracted to you, and I've spent the time and energy to put together and in-depth education program to teach you EXACTLY how to use it and create ATTRACTION with it.
Go here right now to watch some great sample video clips from this program...
Jude
Thursday, July 07, 2005
EX GIRLFRIENDS
OK, so let's talk about your specific questions: 1. "How do you interpret her behavior? Is she still interested somehow or what?" I interpret her behavior as NATURAL and VERY, VERY PREDICTABLE. If you do it again in the future, the something will probably happen. Is she still interested? Yes, she is. But not in anything more than being you’re FRIEND.
You have, with your actions and communication KILLED the ATTRACTION that she felt for you. This is something you're going to have to dealWith and take responsibility for. You turned into a Wuss, and now you're paying the price. You have to come to terms with your Inner Wuss before improvement can begin. 2. "Is there - according your experience – any realistic chance to get her back, i.e. to trigger again her interest and attraction?"Well, this is a sticky question.
There is a CHANCE, yes.But here's the problem. Probably 90% of the time when I tell a guy exactly what to do in order to get a girl back, he screws it up... doesn't do it exactly the way I say, etc. And, of course, he makes things worse in the process.
Here's the problem: Focusing on getting her back will not only lessen the chances, but it will keep you from moving on in your life. The best thing for you to do is MOVE ON in yourlife.Ironically, the way to give yourself the bestchances of getting her back is to NOT TRY...instead, go date other women, and be scarce in herlife.In other words, you're never going to make her feel any ATTRACTION for you again by staying inTouch, being her friend, and being "nice"... and by trying to "win her over" again. It would be nice if things worked that way, but they don't.
Now, why do guys chase women, and keep doing the WRONG things... even after a woman has left? In our dealings with women, we guys tend toThink things like "That's not fair" and "I did all the right things" and to feel self-righteous because we're the good guy... but miss the point and not get the RESULTS we want. Remember, though...Attraction isn't FAIR, it isn't "right", itDoesn’t care how "nice" you are. Attraction can be cruel and painful sometimes. You know, the irony of your situation is that this girl was probably just as bummed-out as you were about this whole thing happening. Women HATE it when guys turn into Wussies. I know, I know... she did things that made you turn into more and more of a Wuss. It's her fault too... right?
Wrong.
Women do this stuff to TEST you. They’re not actually TRYING to turn you into a Wuss. But if you DO turn into a Wuss, she realizes that she can't trust you to be a man, and she has to go. Now, she's not doing this to hurt you, she’s only doing it because she wasn't getting theFeelings that she wanted with you... and now she's getting them with Jerk-Boy. THE SOLUTION...As I mentioned your best bet in this situationis to MOVE ON. Get on with it. Most importantly, start dating OTHER WOMEN IMMEDIATELY.
Not in a few days, and not next week. NOW. And stop calling your ex. Stop responding to her quickly. Stop being her WUSS-FRIEND. It’s obvious that the LAST thing you want is toWind up "just being friends" with her... so STOP DOING IT. Next time she calls, tell her you have a date over at the house, or you're leaving to meet a woman. Of course, make sure IT'S TRUE, like I said. Stop being so AVAILABLE.
Get busy enjoying your life. Get busy dating other women. If you find yourself thinking about her andWanting to hear her voice, BITCH-SLAP yourself. If you're feeling weak, have a friend do it. And when you do wind up talking to her, say the following: "Hey, calling for more therapy? No-can-do... I have to run to the gym to get in shape for my hot date on Friday..." You feel me, dog? And remember...In this world, "I was a nice guy and did nice things for her" doesn't cut it. Attraction has a totally different set of rules... and exceptions. and if you want to get and keep an attractiveWoman, then you'd better learn them. It’s a skill, and you're not going to get it by being "nice" and doing everything your mom taughtYou...If a woman feels ATTRACTION for a man, she'll do almost anything to stay with him. If she DOESN'T feel it, then the chances are slim that she'll stay around. These rules are even MORE TRUE when you're dealing with an ATTRACTIVE woman who gets a lot of attention from guys. The irony of this situation is that I think it's a lot easier to make a woman feel ATTRACTION than it is to be a Wuss who chases after her, buys her things, and annoys the hell out of her.
I spent a lot of years of my life being a Wuss.I made all the classic mistakes. I should probably be awarded an honorary degree in the subject, actually. But over the last several years I've not only learned how to cure myself and evict my Inner Wuss... I've also learned how to make women feel ATTRACTION with my body language and communicationAlone. I only wish someone would have shown me thisstuff fifteen years ago...If you're reading this right now and it's time that you evicted your inner Wussy, and learned how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you without chasing them, buying them things, and giving all of your power away, then listen up... THE TIME IS NOW. This stuff isn't going to fix itself. And you know by now that more of the same is only going to get you more of the same.
If you need a WORLD-CLASS de-Wuss-ification, then you need my industrial-strength solution... My 12-hour Advanced Dating Techniques programs the ultimate training on how to be successful with women and dating. It comes on either digital CD audio or DVD video, and it will absolutely blow your mind.
It has taken me literally YEARS of time, energy, research, and effort to figure all of this stuff out... For every one secret, concept, or technique that I teach in this program, I've probably tried ten or twenty others that didn't work... In other words, this stuff is the real deal. It’s me, personally teaching all of the very best secrets, concepts, and specific step-by-step techniques for meeting and dating women that IPersonally use in real-world situations. The best part? You can order it at ZERO RISK. This program (and the two others below) are available for a FREE TRIAL. Try them out at no cost. Use the concepts.
If you don't see results IMMEDIATELY, then just send it back... it's that easy. Get it here: www.Kalmax.blogspot.comIf you've already gone through my Advanced Dating Techniques program, and you want to learn specialized techniques for sparking attraction and amplifying it using your communication, then you MUST get your hands on my new Sexual Communication 2nd Edition (finally available in DVD video format). It's brand new, and I want you to go watch some of the great preview video clips for it... right here:
You’re Friend Jude
OK, so let's talk about your specific questions: 1. "How do you interpret her behavior? Is she still interested somehow or what?" I interpret her behavior as NATURAL and VERY, VERY PREDICTABLE. If you do it again in the future, the something will probably happen. Is she still interested? Yes, she is. But not in anything more than being you’re FRIEND.
You have, with your actions and communication KILLED the ATTRACTION that she felt for you. This is something you're going to have to dealWith and take responsibility for. You turned into a Wuss, and now you're paying the price. You have to come to terms with your Inner Wuss before improvement can begin. 2. "Is there - according your experience – any realistic chance to get her back, i.e. to trigger again her interest and attraction?"Well, this is a sticky question.
There is a CHANCE, yes.But here's the problem. Probably 90% of the time when I tell a guy exactly what to do in order to get a girl back, he screws it up... doesn't do it exactly the way I say, etc. And, of course, he makes things worse in the process.
Here's the problem: Focusing on getting her back will not only lessen the chances, but it will keep you from moving on in your life. The best thing for you to do is MOVE ON in yourlife.Ironically, the way to give yourself the bestchances of getting her back is to NOT TRY...instead, go date other women, and be scarce in herlife.In other words, you're never going to make her feel any ATTRACTION for you again by staying inTouch, being her friend, and being "nice"... and by trying to "win her over" again. It would be nice if things worked that way, but they don't.
Now, why do guys chase women, and keep doing the WRONG things... even after a woman has left? In our dealings with women, we guys tend toThink things like "That's not fair" and "I did all the right things" and to feel self-righteous because we're the good guy... but miss the point and not get the RESULTS we want. Remember, though...Attraction isn't FAIR, it isn't "right", itDoesn’t care how "nice" you are. Attraction can be cruel and painful sometimes. You know, the irony of your situation is that this girl was probably just as bummed-out as you were about this whole thing happening. Women HATE it when guys turn into Wussies. I know, I know... she did things that made you turn into more and more of a Wuss. It's her fault too... right?
Wrong.
Women do this stuff to TEST you. They’re not actually TRYING to turn you into a Wuss. But if you DO turn into a Wuss, she realizes that she can't trust you to be a man, and she has to go. Now, she's not doing this to hurt you, she’s only doing it because she wasn't getting theFeelings that she wanted with you... and now she's getting them with Jerk-Boy. THE SOLUTION...As I mentioned your best bet in this situationis to MOVE ON. Get on with it. Most importantly, start dating OTHER WOMEN IMMEDIATELY.
Not in a few days, and not next week. NOW. And stop calling your ex. Stop responding to her quickly. Stop being her WUSS-FRIEND. It’s obvious that the LAST thing you want is toWind up "just being friends" with her... so STOP DOING IT. Next time she calls, tell her you have a date over at the house, or you're leaving to meet a woman. Of course, make sure IT'S TRUE, like I said. Stop being so AVAILABLE.
Get busy enjoying your life. Get busy dating other women. If you find yourself thinking about her andWanting to hear her voice, BITCH-SLAP yourself. If you're feeling weak, have a friend do it. And when you do wind up talking to her, say the following: "Hey, calling for more therapy? No-can-do... I have to run to the gym to get in shape for my hot date on Friday..." You feel me, dog? And remember...In this world, "I was a nice guy and did nice things for her" doesn't cut it. Attraction has a totally different set of rules... and exceptions. and if you want to get and keep an attractiveWoman, then you'd better learn them. It’s a skill, and you're not going to get it by being "nice" and doing everything your mom taughtYou...If a woman feels ATTRACTION for a man, she'll do almost anything to stay with him. If she DOESN'T feel it, then the chances are slim that she'll stay around. These rules are even MORE TRUE when you're dealing with an ATTRACTIVE woman who gets a lot of attention from guys. The irony of this situation is that I think it's a lot easier to make a woman feel ATTRACTION than it is to be a Wuss who chases after her, buys her things, and annoys the hell out of her.
I spent a lot of years of my life being a Wuss.I made all the classic mistakes. I should probably be awarded an honorary degree in the subject, actually. But over the last several years I've not only learned how to cure myself and evict my Inner Wuss... I've also learned how to make women feel ATTRACTION with my body language and communicationAlone. I only wish someone would have shown me thisstuff fifteen years ago...If you're reading this right now and it's time that you evicted your inner Wussy, and learned how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you without chasing them, buying them things, and giving all of your power away, then listen up... THE TIME IS NOW. This stuff isn't going to fix itself. And you know by now that more of the same is only going to get you more of the same.
If you need a WORLD-CLASS de-Wuss-ification, then you need my industrial-strength solution... My 12-hour Advanced Dating Techniques programs the ultimate training on how to be successful with women and dating. It comes on either digital CD audio or DVD video, and it will absolutely blow your mind.
It has taken me literally YEARS of time, energy, research, and effort to figure all of this stuff out... For every one secret, concept, or technique that I teach in this program, I've probably tried ten or twenty others that didn't work... In other words, this stuff is the real deal. It’s me, personally teaching all of the very best secrets, concepts, and specific step-by-step techniques for meeting and dating women that IPersonally use in real-world situations. The best part? You can order it at ZERO RISK. This program (and the two others below) are available for a FREE TRIAL. Try them out at no cost. Use the concepts.
If you don't see results IMMEDIATELY, then just send it back... it's that easy. Get it here: www.Kalmax.blogspot.comIf you've already gone through my Advanced Dating Techniques program, and you want to learn specialized techniques for sparking attraction and amplifying it using your communication, then you MUST get your hands on my new Sexual Communication 2nd Edition (finally available in DVD video format). It's brand new, and I want you to go watch some of the great preview video clips for it... right here:
You’re Friend Jude
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO GUYS THEY PERCEIVE AS AVERAGE.
This week I want to talk about an obvious point that's taken me a few years to really notice.The idea is simple: We humans don't want what everyone else has... we want what everyone else has AND MORE. In the context of women and dating,it goes like this:
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO GUYS THEY PERCEIVE ASAVERAGE.
Remember, ATTRACTION doesn't make logical sense... Women don't say "Oh, he's a kind, honest, loyal type of guy from a good family... AND THATREALLY TURNS ME ON." Nope. Women say things like: "He's sexy"... "There's chemistry between us"... "I really feel something for him"... etc.And also remember:
If a woman feels a strong ATTRACTION for you, then the rest of the equation isn't as important. If she feels it, she'll go out of her way to find good reasons to be with you... even if you're not her "physical type". On the other hand, no amount of gifts, favors, dinners, kindness, or a good family will make her feel ATTRACTION... at best these things can only make her feel a more "loyal" kind of love.
So if women don't like "average" guys and the most important thing is to make her feelATTRACTION towards you, then how do you do it? I thought you'd never ask... First, let's talk about the word "average" and what it REALLY means. As far as women are concerned, and especially the ATTRACTIVE ones, men are EVERYWHERE. They'relike cars.
Every once in awhile one stands out and makes you say "Oh, that one is nice." A lot of guys take this concept too far and say” Well, I'm not rich, and I'm not famous... so no really hot woman is going to find me attractive." My experience and research has shown me that women are far more ATTRACTED to things like attitude, confidence, body language, humor, etc.than looks or money. Sure, those things might INITIALLY get a woman's attention, and there arethose women that will only settle for a rich or unusually handsome guy... but this is the extreme minority.
In fact, it's very easy to be seen as "above average" if you know what women are looking for, and you know how to deliver. Remember the danger: If you are perceived as average" early on, then a switch goes off in her mind, and the game will be over before it's even begun. So let's do a little exercise...Let's figure out two things: 1) What most guys do that women see as "average”, and... 2)
What you can do to instantly be seen as "ABOVE average" and, most importantly, ATTRACTIVE. First, let's talk about what most guys do inmost situations (more specifically, what most guys do WRONG). Here are some of the things that I’ve seen...If the setting is a bar or a club, most guys will either say "Can I buy you a drink?", "Want to dance?", or "Hey baby, how YOU doin'?"... or they do crass things like stare at women with wanting eyes or grab them as they walk by.
If the setting is a public place, like maybe a woman working at a clothing store, a waitress, or some other similar high-traffic situation, most guys will ask a lame question like "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Can I take you out sometime?" Ugh. These kinds of approaches can only result in you being seen as another lame, average guy.Here are a few ideas to try instead...If you're in a bar or club setting, try askinga woman or a group of women THEIR OPINION on something.
I personally like this one: "Hey, my friends and I were talking and we need female perspective... What do you ladies think about this new trend of women being proud of paying their own way and buying their own things? Like the Destiny's Child song "Independent Woman?" Women will usually ENTHUSIASTICALLY join into a conversation like this one. (I personally like this topic because it starts off by talking about women taking care of themselves in a positive light, which sets the stage for not having to pay
For a lot of things right up front!) If you're out in a public place, at a store where a woman is working or some other high-Traffic place, you might try something like this: After chatting about whatever business you’re doing there, say "Hey, are you single?” I love this question! It's such a shocker, andit says all the right things. Most guys say "Do you have a boyfriend?" which is the usualQuestion. "Are you single?" is much more forward, and most women have to do a double take to think for a moment.
If she pauses, I say "I'll take that as ayes...", which is pretty funny and usually gets aLaugh. In either of these cases, it's now time to get the digits and get out. You already know that I’m not a fan of standing around and trying to keep a conversation going for any longer than you have to. So after two or three minutes of small talk and general conversation, just go into the "3 Minute Phone Number" close that you've learned in an earlier newsletter or in my book... Say "It was nice talking to you; I'm going to get back to my friends... (or shopping, orwhatever)" and as you turn away, turn back and say Do you have email...?" etc. These two scenarios are obviously very simple, and also very easy. I've had guys say to me "Well, there’s nothing really that different about those
Approaches."
Ah, but there is. The most important difference is that you’re doing something
COMPLETELY different than the other 47 guys who have approached her that day...and you also know EXACTLY what you’re going to do and say and the conversation progresses.
Of course, another thing you can do that will INSTANTLY separate you from the rest of the crowdies to use the idea of being "Cocky and Funny”, which I teach in my e-Book "Double Your Dating" and in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program. This very unique approach has helped many of my thousands of readers to dramatically increase their success with women... and to be no longer seen as AVERAGE by women.
If you haven't learned how to use the almost MAGICAL formula of being Cocky & Funny, or any of the literally hundreds of other techniques It each, then you really need to get yourself a copy of my online e-Book and a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques program. These two tools will DRAMATICALLY increase your success with women and dating.You can download my online e-Book here right now: Kalmax.blogspot.com
And you can order your copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program at zero risk (try it before you buy it) here: So go out this week, and DON'T BE AVERAGE ANYMORE. Talk to you soon. You’re Friend, Jude P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Questions, or Comment, follow these guidelines: 1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs ax. 2)
Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics...because this helps other guys to see hat’s working in different situations. 3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I readthese first. 4) At the end of the email, give me your initial sand tell me where you're from. 5)
Send it to me at: Kalmax@techemail.com
This week I want to talk about an obvious point that's taken me a few years to really notice.The idea is simple: We humans don't want what everyone else has... we want what everyone else has AND MORE. In the context of women and dating,it goes like this:
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO GUYS THEY PERCEIVE ASAVERAGE.
Remember, ATTRACTION doesn't make logical sense... Women don't say "Oh, he's a kind, honest, loyal type of guy from a good family... AND THATREALLY TURNS ME ON." Nope. Women say things like: "He's sexy"... "There's chemistry between us"... "I really feel something for him"... etc.And also remember:
If a woman feels a strong ATTRACTION for you, then the rest of the equation isn't as important. If she feels it, she'll go out of her way to find good reasons to be with you... even if you're not her "physical type". On the other hand, no amount of gifts, favors, dinners, kindness, or a good family will make her feel ATTRACTION... at best these things can only make her feel a more "loyal" kind of love.
So if women don't like "average" guys and the most important thing is to make her feelATTRACTION towards you, then how do you do it? I thought you'd never ask... First, let's talk about the word "average" and what it REALLY means. As far as women are concerned, and especially the ATTRACTIVE ones, men are EVERYWHERE. They'relike cars.
Every once in awhile one stands out and makes you say "Oh, that one is nice." A lot of guys take this concept too far and say” Well, I'm not rich, and I'm not famous... so no really hot woman is going to find me attractive." My experience and research has shown me that women are far more ATTRACTED to things like attitude, confidence, body language, humor, etc.than looks or money. Sure, those things might INITIALLY get a woman's attention, and there arethose women that will only settle for a rich or unusually handsome guy... but this is the extreme minority.
In fact, it's very easy to be seen as "above average" if you know what women are looking for, and you know how to deliver. Remember the danger: If you are perceived as average" early on, then a switch goes off in her mind, and the game will be over before it's even begun. So let's do a little exercise...Let's figure out two things: 1) What most guys do that women see as "average”, and... 2)
What you can do to instantly be seen as "ABOVE average" and, most importantly, ATTRACTIVE. First, let's talk about what most guys do inmost situations (more specifically, what most guys do WRONG). Here are some of the things that I’ve seen...If the setting is a bar or a club, most guys will either say "Can I buy you a drink?", "Want to dance?", or "Hey baby, how YOU doin'?"... or they do crass things like stare at women with wanting eyes or grab them as they walk by.
If the setting is a public place, like maybe a woman working at a clothing store, a waitress, or some other similar high-traffic situation, most guys will ask a lame question like "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Can I take you out sometime?" Ugh. These kinds of approaches can only result in you being seen as another lame, average guy.Here are a few ideas to try instead...If you're in a bar or club setting, try askinga woman or a group of women THEIR OPINION on something.
I personally like this one: "Hey, my friends and I were talking and we need female perspective... What do you ladies think about this new trend of women being proud of paying their own way and buying their own things? Like the Destiny's Child song "Independent Woman?" Women will usually ENTHUSIASTICALLY join into a conversation like this one. (I personally like this topic because it starts off by talking about women taking care of themselves in a positive light, which sets the stage for not having to pay
For a lot of things right up front!) If you're out in a public place, at a store where a woman is working or some other high-Traffic place, you might try something like this: After chatting about whatever business you’re doing there, say "Hey, are you single?” I love this question! It's such a shocker, andit says all the right things. Most guys say "Do you have a boyfriend?" which is the usualQuestion. "Are you single?" is much more forward, and most women have to do a double take to think for a moment.
If she pauses, I say "I'll take that as ayes...", which is pretty funny and usually gets aLaugh. In either of these cases, it's now time to get the digits and get out. You already know that I’m not a fan of standing around and trying to keep a conversation going for any longer than you have to. So after two or three minutes of small talk and general conversation, just go into the "3 Minute Phone Number" close that you've learned in an earlier newsletter or in my book... Say "It was nice talking to you; I'm going to get back to my friends... (or shopping, orwhatever)" and as you turn away, turn back and say Do you have email...?" etc. These two scenarios are obviously very simple, and also very easy. I've had guys say to me "Well, there’s nothing really that different about those
Approaches."
Ah, but there is. The most important difference is that you’re doing something
COMPLETELY different than the other 47 guys who have approached her that day...and you also know EXACTLY what you’re going to do and say and the conversation progresses.
Of course, another thing you can do that will INSTANTLY separate you from the rest of the crowdies to use the idea of being "Cocky and Funny”, which I teach in my e-Book "Double Your Dating" and in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program. This very unique approach has helped many of my thousands of readers to dramatically increase their success with women... and to be no longer seen as AVERAGE by women.
If you haven't learned how to use the almost MAGICAL formula of being Cocky & Funny, or any of the literally hundreds of other techniques It each, then you really need to get yourself a copy of my online e-Book and a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques program. These two tools will DRAMATICALLY increase your success with women and dating.You can download my online e-Book here right now: Kalmax.blogspot.com
And you can order your copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program at zero risk (try it before you buy it) here: So go out this week, and DON'T BE AVERAGE ANYMORE. Talk to you soon. You’re Friend, Jude P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Questions, or Comment, follow these guidelines: 1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs ax. 2)
Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics...because this helps other guys to see hat’s working in different situations. 3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I readthese first. 4) At the end of the email, give me your initial sand tell me where you're from. 5)
Send it to me at: Kalmax@techemail.com
